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November 02, 2017

Coffee Chats ~ Vol. 4

I'll be honest, I wouldn't be a very good coffee date this week.

Generally speaking, I hate to be a debbie downer. Nothing annoys me more than a chronic complainer. So,  when I am down, I tend to just stay away from people, deal with my ish and emerge my jovial self. But, today, I feel to let it all out. And besides, who could turn down a coffee date? Not I.

Lets get the 'downer' things out the way so we can chat about some good stuff shall we? First, I lost a big case this week, a case I worked on tirelessly for over a year. I take my day job very seriously (I'm a lawyer for the new folks). I'm good at it and I've worked my butt off to be where I'm at. This case was a 'public' case and made national news where I am (another reason I never ever type my first name with my last name on the blog - I don't care if you know it, I just don't want this blog to pop up in a google search of my name). Anyway, on Monday I went to court with my Senior, we took the loss on our chins, and on Tuesday I woke up to it being front page news and people discussing it (and having not so nice things to say about the matter) on the radio stations. Not the best feeling, but whatever, you win some, you lose some, you appeal those need to be appealed.  Like this one, which brings me to the next point.

I have so many blog posts in draft. SO. MANY. I'm proud about how many posts I have to post, but I have spent 80% of my waking hours in my office this week working on an Appeal. I'm mentally exhausted. My brain is mush. I don't even know what I'm drafting anymore. Its that bad. So I took a break and decided to draft this post from my office (which I never do) and will probably not proof read and just press publish when I'm done (something else I never do). I'm tired and grumpy. Very grumpy.

Second to last Debbie downer thing I promise. Its probably the biggest though, if I'm honest. My dad's brother passed away yesterday. That makes an aunt and an uncle that I lost this year (earlier this year my mum lost one of her sisters). Both were gravely ill and so there's a weird peace about it, but still, death is death and is never easy. I lost my sister 3 years ago so whenever someone loses a sibling, even if its my parents, I feel very stressed for them. Its weird. Whatever.

Last thing. I may or may not have mentioned it, and this will be its own post (or posts) but my wedding is in April. I am truly 100% excited to marry Danny and be his wife and life happily evr after in a house with a white picket fence. But do you want to know something I learned about myself in the last few months? While I am a planner and love to plan every detail of life, I do not love wedding planning. I actually really dislike it. Again, I cannot wait to marry my darling, I just wish I didn't have to pick out napkin colours and flowers and what the heck you put on the arch thingy and nails and makeup and the photographer and do I need a videographer and cakes and invitations and dress shopping and why cant I find a good damn DJ and and and and ... For the record, the venue and photographer are booked and some other things have already been worked out. The planning process is just not fun for me, and while I know I could just get a planner, I don't trust anyone but my mum and myself to plan the biggest day of my life. Catch 22.

Some good things this week? Well, I am actually having coffee as we speak, and me, my parents and my love woke up healthy every single day. That's always a good thing. Also, tomorrow I'm officially asking my bridesmaids to stand by my side on my big day (though they all already know) and I'm excited about that too. Mainly for the drinks.

Anyway, as I said, I hate complaining and probably have been the worst coffee date. Its just that kind of week.

Hope you forgive me. Coffee's on me.

Linking up with Kristen
Have a great Thursday guys!!!

Add your comment

  1. Death is heard, I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in the memories of your beloved family members. There is nothing wrong with being a Negative Nancy every now and then. Personally, I find it good for the soul. It makes for things to matter more and I find that it also makes me more grateful for the thing I do have. Sorry to hear that you lost your case, I know how that feels. I lost the case against me (well, my office) and it still pisses me off years later. Stay strong Pretty Lady!!

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your uncle :( Sending you all the hugs!! And the case too. It is hard when you work really hard on something like that. Enjoy your coffee and try and focus on the good things. Planning a wedding is stressful, but dont let it get to you too much. The only thing that matters at the end of the day is your love for each other! I am sure that everything will turn out great.

  3. i am so sorry about the loss of your uncle, and your aunt earlier in the year. and i'm sorry about the case, especially because you worked so hard on it. and do what you gotta do to make yourself happy re: the wedding. wedding planning was legit the worst time in my life and i wouldn't do it again if you paid me. the wedding - the actual party part - was super fun and all, but seriously. not worth it.

  4. so sorry about the loss of your uncle; it's so hard to lose a loved one. big hugs!

    also sorry to hear about losing the case; to have worked so hard but like you said, appeal-worthy cases will be appealed.

    as for the wedding planning - straight up, don't do the shit you don't want to do. for real. i only focused on the big things that were important to me - dress, hall, church, food, booze. everything else i went thrifty or didn't even bother. chair covers? lol, bring on the cheap hall chairs. center pieces? goddamn, that's what the food is for. fancy napkins and fork placement and shit? nope. you use whatever the hall gives you or you eat with your hands and wipe your mouth on your sleeve. flowers for the church/hall? nope, ain't nobody got time to pay that extra money for shizz that won't even be looked at.

  5. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. It's so hard to lose people, and it's a different kind of feeling when you're also aching for the other people also experiencing the loss. I can't even imagine how you've felt about the case, especially with it being such huge news, but hopefully you're feeling a little bit better about things now. When I got married I was a really bad wedding planner too because I didn't really care about the details either, I was too stressed with other things going on in life, and those things really don't matter.

  6. I'm so sorry about your uncle.

    I am also a planner who hated planning her wedding.

    Tough loss this week, but it's not about never losing - it's about how we get up after and face the new day. Hang in there my friend.

  7. So sorry about the loss of your uncle, that is so tough. Family passings hurt.

    My sister is a lawyer so even though I'm not I kind of get that loss feeling, because I've dealt with some of hers. Nothing news worthy though, which I can imagine is tough cause people are soooooooo big behind computers.

    I am a planner who didn't love wedding planning. I agree with the previous comments, do what you like, don't worry about anything else. I dealt with someone who stressed about EVERY.LITTLE.THING and it drove me up the wall as a friend because it was all things she didn't care about but wanted to impress other people. Nope, no thanks.

  8. I'm sorry that you're having a hard time right now.

  9. So sorry for your loss of your uncle! That is sad. And wedding planning is extremely stressful and it is OK to not love it!

  10. First off so sorry for your loss. That sucks even when they were sick. Ive lost two uncles and it has been rough for my dad. And knowing opinionated trini media outlets, i know that losing the case was tough. One thing though, even if you get a wedding planner, they do everything but take only your opinions amd wishes into consideration but just do the grunt work. In my opinion anyways 😊. Hope your weekend is OK and you get a chance to relax a bit

  11. I'm so sorry to hear about all of the troubles going on for you right now. :( Losing your uncle must be so hard, I am so sorry. Also, it is never fun to be emotionally spent or super busy. Especially with work. It's so hard. Hugs. I hope that you are able to start feeling better about things as time goes on. As for wedding planning, I don't blame you, wedding planning is not very fun. Or at least wasn't for me either. : / XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

  12. Bummer about the case and losing a loved one! So many great things to look forward too. Wedding planning can be overwhelming and often stressful but at least you can customize it to your own style and liking.

  13. That sounds like a lot to be dealing with. Sometimes you just have to talk about it. Hope things start looking up for you soon!

  14. Prayers--so sorry for your loss. And work an be rough. I'm glad I don't litigate, because that would be difficult to handle. And as for weddings, there's no greater feeling than looking into your partner's eyes, saying "I Do," an realizing you don't have any more wedding crap to deal with!


  15. Blame my own wedding for a late response, but I agree with Kathy, fuck that small shit. We had a wedding planner and now I realize it was a waste. I didn't enjoy the planning at all, but it was mostly done when I hired her and then all the details that we planned out didn't even come to fruition (probably a Megan problem). Nonetheless, not a single guest commented about the missing decorations or mismatched plastic ware or the cheap plastic chairs they put their asses in for 20 minutes for the ceremony. They enjoyed the free beer and wine and bbq that we served and loved hanging out with us and acting crazy. Don't get caught up in the details. Get caught up in what matters to YOU and be insistent on those things. Throughout the entire process I insisted that our theme was "We're on a budget" and I don't regret that a little bit. I didn't want to spent a fuckton of money on a single day when we have a lifetime ahead of us. Sorry for the soapbox, it's still fresh, lol. If you need a rant partner, I'm here for you.

    Also, life is always kicking us while we're down and that extra sucks.

  16. Doing coffee chat is the best thing that every women loves to do. Coffee is to very wonderful for skin, it makes the skin bright and clear. Coffee is the best home remedy of anti aging skin, but it's its always not good to have coffee. So I love to use dermology anti aging cream its is also an effective anti aging cream. The best thing is that it's totally natural and does not cost much.

    1. For your aging problem you can also try lifecell all in one cream it is also an effective antiaging cream. This serum improves uneven skin tone-a top aging concern for women of color by lifting away dead cells with alpha hydroxy acid, lightening dark spots with soy and softening rough patches with hyaluronic acid.

  17. Sending you all the hugs girlie! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and how hard work has been lately. But yay for the excitement with your upcoming wedding. Yes, wedding planning is super stressful, but it's all so worth the day of when you say I do <3
    Green Fashionista

  18. Sorry I missed this post so I didn't realize you had lost your uncle. I know that no matter how ill a person had been, that every loss takes a toll on you and probably reminds you of your sister's passing too.
    Sorry about the loss at work as well.
    Sending you extra special hugs today.

    1. Thanks girlie, it was a bit of a downer week when i wrote this. Happy to report that things are so much better now!


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